And we can have sex sometimes
by ar-men15
Summary: Another what if to explore...what if Saga Noren had decided to keep what Henrik Sabroe wanted so much? What could happen, keeping the canon intact, except for that detail? How will Astrid Sabroe adapt? My purpose is to remain true to characters as much as possibile, following their evolution on the path traced by se 4 ep 8.
1. Chapter 1

AND WE CAN HAVE SEX SOMETIMES

CH 1

PROLOGUE

After Mads Sorensen's difficult morning in court, with a painful fight between sibling regarding their late mother's will, the middle aged lawyer hoped for a quiet afternoon in his Copenhagen office.  
He was scheduled to meet around five a colleague to discuss the economic settlement of a divorce; the parts has already decided regarding how to manage their two teen children and only little details were needed before signing the final agreement.  
His secretary has added in the agenda another meeting at four, without names of the parts; a temporary default of the mail kept her so busy in making calls she had no time to complete the usual sheet for new customers.  
Sorensen entered the meeting room, a couple around forty was sat on two opposite chairs at the rectangular table.  
The man got up and the woman followed just a few seconds later; she was visibly pregnant, Sorensen saw her belly under the blue dress she wore.  
The lawyer imagined she was already six or seven months, remembering his wife during her two pregnancies, around thirty years ago.  
He listened with attention their request for a neutral counsellor regarding a problem he never faced before; the woman was determinate, her tone never betraying emotions.  
"I'll give up all rights about his child. He'll have full single custody."  
"I'll accept everything, but the mother's name must appear on the birth certificate. And she will become the caretaker of my teen daughter, who is not of legal age. I don't want, whatever happens to me, my children to be separated."  
"How old is she?" Sorensen asked.  
"15, soon to be 16."  
"You know she could become a legal tutor at 18, in case of need."  
Sorensen studied the way the man was casting frequent glances at the woman; it seemed the look of a man deeply in love.  
After years as a lawyer, he learned a lot about people; his wife often hinted he'd be a good and sensitive priest, the way he listened to his customers and understood them.  
The woman asked for some water and the man was fast in filling a plastic glass from the courtesy bottle on the corner table; he handed her the glass like it was a precious cup.  
Sorensen wondered what lain beneath the surface of indifference the woman was showing.  
Was it a real indifference or a deep fear?  
What prompted her to give birth to the child she was carrying? Money? Faith? Inheritance?  
He took notes while they were speaking, he was Danish, she was Swedish, living in Denmark in his house, both were detectives in their respective countries, then put aside the pen. Time for some questions.  
"Do you know surrogate motherhood or the selling of a child are delicate matters, don't you? Are there other parts involved?"  
The woman denied.  
He turned to the man: his profession had shown him so many twists and turns he was ready for whatever surprise.  
"Do you have a domestic partner? Will she ..or he.. claim rights over this child?"  
"It's not a sale nor a surrogacy. No one else is involved. We've been partners for around three years. Biologically, the child is completely ours and will remain so. I'm a widow and she never married."  
The woman nodded.  
"The pregnancy was unplanned. We sealed a pact before his older daughter was rescued after a long abduction and the younger found dead."  
"Yes." the man continued, "I've proposed her to terminate the pregnancy after I had my daughter back, but she wants to respect the pact."  
"I'm not going to disappear, we'll see each other now and again as sexual partners, but I don't want to be involved in the growth and the upbringing of the child."  
Sorensen's first impression was right, they were afraid, the feelings they shared were stronger they could ever admit; his main duty was to protect their new life.  
"I'll prepare an agreement and you'll read it carefully before discussing it all together and then signing. Now I need your documents for our forms."


	2. Chapter 2

Henrik woke up at six in the morning when a nurse entered to take his temperature and blood pressure.  
At first he didn't understand where he was, then the memories of the previous day hit him in full force; he touched the cold bars of the hospital bed, he scanned the unfamiliar surroundings of the aseptic room.  
His heart started beating faster, sweat on his forehead, fear in his gut, again.  
Kevin.  
Dead, motionless on the living room floor, blood and brain spilling out of the wound.  
Astrid.  
Writhing in pain while he stood up and tried to free her with his bare hands, telling her incoherent words, wiping away the tears from her face.  
Astrid, he barely lost, on the verge of the cliff, unable to protect the most important person in his life.  
Astrid, telling him in her native language that he was her father and so she was his.  
Astrid, in a room somewhere in the same hospital, alone, at the same time scared and glad to be alive.  
Astrid, to whom he pleaded his doctor to give his own blood for the transfusion, showing the card he had in his wallet as a registered donor.  
Saga.  
In perfect shooting position, the gun firmly in her hands. One shot, one kill.  
Saga, efficient as always, asking the paramedics to bring Astrid to a hospital fast, while he in shock could only hug her on the stroller.  
Saga, telling him Astrid was recovering after a successful surgery and resting under the effects of sedation.  
Saga, sitting on his bed, while he thanked her for having arrived in time.  
Saga, with a stiffness in her back, a bad fall when Susanne shoot, she explained him, and a scar on her hand.  
Saga, briefly caressing his arm, before leaving the room without a word, not looking back.  
Saga, her phone off, no way to leave a message, Lillian unaware of her whereabouts when Henrik reached his boss.  
Saga, pregnant with their child, that she planned to give him after the birth.  
Henrik was torn between two forces of the same intensity, his daughter and his woman.  
First thing, he had to see Astrid, be sure she was well; the doctor discarded him mid morning and he rushed to her room, crying when he saw her face, whiter than the pillow.  
She was still sleeping, on and off, so he hold her hand while checking texts on his phone.  
Nothing.  
Astrid woke, confused and scared, Henrik caressed her cheek, whispering soothing words: their dialogue was minimal, Astrid was clearly shocked by the shooting and in pain for the wound  
The nurse arrived with a food tray and Henrik helped Astrid to eat a few spoons of tasteless rice with boiled vegetables, insisting she had to eat something to counteract the effects of all the medicines in her stomach, promising her to find a small bar of chocolate for the evening.  
Astrid's doctor decided to give her another strong painkiller and when she dozed off Henrik went to the station to talk with Lillian, hoping to meet Saga there. Her desk was neat and her stuff in the usual place. She had reported Lillian and then said she had to go to Linn, who on the phone denied Saga had contacted her.  
John verified her mobile had been off since the previous evening, around the time she left the hospital.  
Henrik returned there to talk with Astrid's doctor and give his daughter dinner while John controlled car accidents and hospital admissions in a huge area of both countries.  
And if Saga wasn't well? Or something happened to the baby?  
She had no place to stay, no friends to call, the Porsche was a car easy to identify, Lillian and Linn would accept to start a search only after 48 hours.  
Henrik had to pretend all was well with Astrid, who was feeling better and already wanted to leave the hospital.  
"I want to stay with you."  
"I'll sleep here. I promised never leaving." He eyed the armchair with a blanket, expecting a sore back the following day; it didn't matter, he wanted to be with his daughter, there had been too many nights someone else, not him, soothed her colds or her toothache. His discomfort was irrelevant, compared to her need of a father.  
"I hate hospitals. I want to go home."  
"The doctor said just a few days, they need to control the wound. Thankfully the bone is intact."  
The joy to have Astrid alive was his strength, but Henrik had difficult to sleep; at first the shooting, playing and replaying under his eyelids, then came the nightmare, Kevin pointing the gun at Astrid and Saga jumping in the middle, taking the bullet in her body.  
He woke up trembling, tried again to call Saga, wrote her another text, without disturbing Astrid.  
He felt cold with fear, the same when Alice disappeared. Was history repeating itself? Was he loosing another family?  
He decided to extend John's range of search, to reveal him and Linn their secret, but what if she had decided to remove the child and could not face him with the news?  
He had Astrid, he was again a father, she was free from their pact.


	3. Chapter 3

CH 3

The key turned in the lock around noon, seven days after Brian's death; the house was silent, the Peugeot wasn't parked outside.  
The familiarity of the setting was both comforting and disturbing, Saga had abandoned the thought to find her own place, her attachment to Henrik's house was something she came to terms only during the days she was away.  
Saga left her minimal travel bag – more a shopping bag than a real suitcase - on the couch and opened the fridge to grab something to fill her rumbling stomach.  
She put cheese, bread and a glass of water on the table and started eating; she had a few mouthfuls when the door opened and Henrik entered.  
He was back from the rehabilitation centre Astrid was due to stay for a week, a place in the countryside his daughter thankfully liked more than the hospital, with a garden and a swimming pool; when he saw the Porsche parked along the road he run inside.  
A hell of a week, Saga's disappearance without the faintest trace, nights spent awake, bags under his eyes, Astrid asking about Saga every day, wanting to see her, the lies he had to create with his daughter to keep her calm. It was difficult to explain Astrid how difficult and singular Saga's behaviour could be.  
He was relieved and worried to see Saga, eating at his table like it was the most natural thing of the world.  
"You're here!"  
"You see me."  
"Where have you been? No calls, no texts, I was so worried."  
"I travelled around, I had to think."  
"You could have simply told me, Linn and Lillian issued a missing search."  
"No need, I was in Skane all time."  
"Why?"  
"I told you."  
There was something different in Saga, something sharper, more rigid than usual.  
"You said you had to think. About what?"  
"The child. Us."  
Henrik froze, leaning on the fire island for support, he was expecting the fatal words, the axe to fall.  
"Did you..." He tried to formulate the question, his mouth dry all of a sudden.  
"I did nothing. The first examination is next Wednesday. Will you come with me?"  
"You mean you're still ...you haven't?"  
"No. We've got a pact. You still want it, don't you?"  
She tilted her head, looking at him in a strange way,  
"Yes, yes. I want the baby, I was so nervous… I'm not fine if you aren't around."  
"How's Astrid?"  
"Much better, she'll come home in a few days. The doctors wanted her to stay for a while in a rehabilitation centre, she isn't happy, but she has to."  
Saga took a sip of water, Henrik noticed the dish was empty.  
"Are you hungry?"  
"I was eating."  
Henrik offered to cook, he wanted to be busy to distract his mind from the tornado that was spiralling into him, whose core was that Saga was there and thing could go, if not well, in the right way.  
Henrik put in the frying pan slices of chicken breast and on the other fire set some vegetables while Saga throw her dirty clothes in the washing machine and then sat in front of him for dinner.  
"I called you regarding my mother, we never had time to talk about her."  
Henrik lifted his head, signalling she had his full attention on a topic that he sensed was important for her.  
"Lund find a connection between Jennifer's main bout of illness and drugs my mother administered her. I found diaries, proofs. My assumption was correct."  
"You've always been right."  
"My accusation, the subsequent trial. All responsibility was on my mother, her Munchausen by proxy never diagnosed for sure. My father's absences for work gave her open way with Jennifer."  
"But you accused them both."  
"I had to free Jennifer for ever."  
Saga explained how much she placed against Gosta Noren the fault of omission, the sin of her father.  
Henrik absorbed her words, the same fault for him, the same outcome, his little Anna was gone.  
Saga concentrated on the food; she appeared hungry, Henrik feared it was due to the week spent away without regular meals more than to the notion of eating for two.  
"So you were in Skane."  
"I went to a fishing cabin on a lake shore, quiet and private in this time of the year. Your search would have failed, I used another name to rent it."  
She asked for the most distant from the entrance gate, a cottage made of wood, small, just a room with a living area and a bedroom; she bought food for six days and read twelve books.  
Henrik recognized her need for privacy, the promiscuity in prison, the confused case, his own insistence in living together triggered a desire for loneliness.  
"Clever. You knew I'd search. And there are so many small lakes in southern Sweden…"  
"Your behaviour is easily predictable. I left you without an explanation, you worry I do something stupid or irreparable so you search me."  
"Am I so transparent?"  
"For me. You need to know where I am, what I plan to do."  
"I care about you."  
"In prison it was easy to care about me, I was locked up."  
Henrik felt scrutinized, deep to his core; Saga's ability to read him and her inability to feel him, his need for her, his concern and desire to be a couple, a family, a father.  
All his concentration for two years was on Saga, during prison he mostly abandoned the search for his daughters and for truth about his wife's death.  
Saga as a door to a new world, where he could succeed in a relationship, keeping it alive for a long time; sometimes a world too foreign to his mind.  
"And I hardly know you."  
"You understand me well. It is when you want me to be the image you have of me that you fail."  
Resigned, Henrik cleaned the table, filling the dishwasher; he turned and Saga was behind him, so close he could feel her body heath  
"You know I want you now, don't you?"  
Henrik closed his eyes – Saga always sharp and direct – and followed her in the bedroom.

Saga's soft snoozes were in rhythm with his breaths.  
Henrik kept the bedside lamp on, he wanted to look at her, to observe her face and save every detail in his memory; Saga back in his bed seemed so unreal, yet there she was. Her hair on the pillow, her mouth slightly open - Henrik slowly removed the sheet – her grey t shirt, her dark panties, her bare legs. Saga was lying on her left side, facing him, Henrik's gaze fixed on her belly, it was too early to see something, but their child was safely growing there.  
Knowing what having, loving, caring and loosing meant, during intercourse Henrik felt a connection with Saga all the more intense.  
It was their first time together after he knew about the baby; the night she started living with him, two weeks before, their coupling was good, especially after all the times in the visiting room, where, with cameras surveillance on, it had been simply sex, necessary, basic, raw, ignited by the fear the supreme court would reject the request to set her free.  
For the first time Henrik was making love to his woman.  
He treated Saga with a tenderness she probably wasn't used to or wanted so, she hurried him up to complete the act, instead he slowed his hips, wanting to feel all of her.  
When Saga understood his was the pace, she relaxed a little; Henrik sensed it and loved the trust, his movements become more fluids, wanting her pleasure more than his own.  
Saga's first release was barely a whisper, but Henrik registered when her body shivered and he closed his eyes, keeping his path, wanting to make the moment last. They reached together a peak, like they often did, the unique communion of flesh they shared; Saga's attempts to underestimate Henrik's role in her life were falling piece by piece. In bed she had to admit he became her best partner ever.


	4. Chapter 4

CH 4

The deal was done without big problems, food and bed, conversation and house sharing; Saga told Henrik they had an agreement and she'd keep her promise.  
Henrik needed a way to explain Astrid his relationship with Saga without upsetting his daughter, afraid of her reactions. He saw Agnes drawing on her book, the only figure with modern clothes, dark, ambiguous, scary; Astrid had closed it violently without commenting.  
In a week his life became terribly complicated, from the loneliness after Saga was imprisoned to the foggy reality to have again a family, with a splendid addition still to come. The unplanned pregnancy, the revelation about his daughters, happiness because Astrid was back, sadness for Anna, concern for the new child, fear Astrid would consider Saga a betrayal of Alice, now also with a baby on the way.  
He approached Saga about the best way to inform Astrid and in response had the suggestion to tell her the truth.  
He couldn't be so blunt, so he pleaded Saga to keep the secret of the baby, at least for the time being; she stated if they were going to live together Astrid would see her body.  
"From the texts I read and the changing I'm already experimenting, it could show soon."  
"I know, but let's her settle down at home."  
"What changes from the rehabilitation centre to your house?"  
"She'll have her things here."  
"After being shot in this very house?"  
Her logic was correct, waiting was useless, still he had to be the one to explain Astrid.  
"Good. Do as you wish. It's time for our meeting."  
They headed for the centre the same afternoon, Henrik entered Astrid's room, who was eager to hug him and keep the contact for a long time; after the update about her morning rehabilitation session, Henrik took a deep breath.  
"Soon it will be two years since Mom's body was found, during my first case with Saga in Sweden.".  
"Mom died only two years ago? She left us long before."  
"She died the day you met Frank first time. Things weren't going well between her and me. So she talked with Frank, he was a counsellor who did his work bad."  
"I remember I asked Mom why you were seldom home."  
"I'm sorry, I was a fool with her and you. I should have been more present, a real father for you and Anna. A better husband."  
"You're my father, better than Frank."  
He closed briefly his eyes and took her hand, she accepted his touch and Henrik was grateful.  
"I've got a second chance to set thing right. With you and with Saga."  
"You were bad also with Saga?"  
"No Astrid, but Saga for me is like mom was. We're together."  
"She's your best friend, you said."  
"Much more, I love her. And … Saga is expecting my baby. It was unplanned, I swear." He added when he read Astrid's incredulous expression.  
She was staring at him with huge eyes. Was she disappointed? Jealous to share him with another child? Afraid to become second best?  
"That's big." Astrid shook her head. "Yesterday you were dead for me, I was completely alone and today I've got a brand new family."  
"I'm sorry, Astrid. I was alone for six years, when I found Saga it was like a miracle for me. I promised I'll never leave you, I'll be with you always. Do you think it was only the gun that made me talk like I did in front of Kevin?"  
"No, I'm sure you love me. You asked him to kill you instead of me ."  
"And I'd do it again, for you and for the new baby. I've reflected a lot and I want it, like I wanted you and Anna when mom told me. What father would I be, if I didn't want it or you?"  
"Sister or brother?"  
"It's to early to know. And I really don't mind the sex. For Saga it will be difficult, she's different, I hope you won't judge her. She's outside, wanting to meet you. If she says something strange, I'll explain later. "  
Henrik opened the door, Saga entered and the two females stared at each other for a long time.  
Astrid had prepared herself to meet the woman that saved her life, to thank her father's best friend. The news she just received changed all the words she planned to say.  
Saga seemed friendly, greeting Astrid, asking her how she was feeling.  
"I'm better, thanks, can't wait to leave tomorrow."  
"Good. Henrik said you started rehabilitation here."  
"She'll continue at home."  
Astrid glanced from Henrik to Saga, they were standing opposite side of her bed, strange, she imagined they'd be close, happy.  
"Thanks for saving me. And finding me, too, dad told me you how smart you are."  
Saga's half smile, not used to receive appreciation.  
"You'll stay home with us?"  
If her father and Saga were together, Astrid thought her question was logical.  
Saga looked at Henrik who smiled, to cancel her hesitation.  
"I'll stay until the baby arrives."  
"And after?"  
Henrik caressed Astrid's arm.  
"After we'll see. Tomorrow I'll be here at 11 to take you home."

Linn summoned Saga in her office and closed the door, gesturing Saga to take a chair, then she turned around the desk, walking slowly, delicate matters to discuss with a woman whose difficulties in dealing with subtle details Linn knew well.  
"I've decided not to report your absence, you have an impressive amount of extra hours that cover it. I met our police chief and other high ranks colleague. Thorsen is retiring earlier we imagined. He decided to leave for Stockholm, to live near his daughters."  
"Thorson of the drug team?"  
"Yes, and Larsen will take his place, leaving a position in the financial frauds area. Larsen in Goteborg was already dealing with drugs."  
Saga listened with attention, Linn never spoke with her about chief detectives changes before.  
"Our chief wants you to take Larsen's position."  
Saga's brow furrowed, it was a research job, working with the tax administrations, the custom and the banks, a task that implied long hours at computer, examining data and tax forms.  
"But I'm a field detective."  
"And you're very good at it, the last case put you in the spotlight for a long deserved and simply delayed promotion."  
Linn's hint at the prison didn't go unnoticed by Saga  
"I'm not suited for it."  
"You'll have your own team, qualified experts. It's coordination and planning for you"  
Linn leaned forward on the smooth surface of the desk; she hated to dig in people's private life but Saga had to understand it could be a one way out, her options were limited.  
"There's another thing. Henrik came here when you were away, he wanted me to issue a search, so he confessed me you were pregnant and the baby was his. That was a bit of a surprise. He was honest, he thought you left to remove the baby."  
Saga's eyes had a flick of uneasiness, different from what Linn usually saw in her.  
Her privacy had been invaded, again, something that always affected her deeply, and now her life has been discussed in her absence.  
"I keep the baby."  
"You cannot be on the field if you're expecting. It's promotion and office work or maternity leave, you're also over 40, it's the rule here."  
Saga turned her head to the window, she wanted to work, whatever was better than staying at home with her thoughts.  
"Can I have John in my new team?"  
"If he agrees, that could be arranged. I'll report your decision to the chief. Good luck in your new role and .. congratulations to you and Henrik."

Margrethe Sabroe thought her son was messed up like never before, sure more than in his early teens, when he and his teammates were caught smoking something not perfectly legal during a school football tournament; Henrik avoided punishment only for his excellent school record.  
Margrethe was struggling to set up his home routine with the two women he was living with.  
Astrid, her only surviving granddaughter, a girl whose eyes had seen demons and ghosts for so many years.  
Margrethe loved to help Astrid to adapt to her old and at she same time new life; Astrid had asked Henrik to attend school, she wanted to be with young people after the loneliness of the village, but no exams for her at the end of the year, just getting used again to a Danish school.  
Saga, the Swedish detective, her son's partner, the mother to be.  
First time Margrethe met Saga Noren was an awkward moment.  
Henrik was nervous and worried; he had asked his mother to arrive late in the afternoon, around time Saga would return from work and he had texted saga, alerting they had a visitor.  
Saga read it, the meeting was long overdue; she drove home analyzing the implications of the evening. Margrethe would be the second mother in law of her life – she and Henrik were not together, but it was a fast way to define the future grandmother of Henrik's child - and her previous experience with Jakob's mother had been surely negative.  
Henrik had passed her info about Margrethe, widowed long before his daughters disappeared, saying he was glad his father hadn't witnessed his nightmare and his mother had been supportive ad best as she could, Henrik's self imposed loneliness permitting..  
So, overjoyed for having Astrid alive back, Saga suspected Margrethe's reactions about a new grandkid would be hysterical and overacted.  
Saga opened the main door and saw the white haired woman at the table with Henrik, two mugs of coffee in front of them.  
"This is my mother."  
Henrik got up to take Saga's bag of books, always happy to see Saga back home; he couldn't help himself to be glad whenever she was around.  
Saga went closer while Margaret offered her hand,  
"Saga Noren, Malmo police."  
"Margrethe, nice to meet you."  
The two women stood in the living room and observed each other.  
"Do you live close?" Saga asked abruptly.  
"It's a 20 minutes drive."  
"It's a short distance. You can help Henrik in childcare."  
"I want to help, not to intrude. A grandparent is not a parent."  
"But are you happy to have a new grandchild?"  
"I'm happy if you and Henrik are happy."  
Saga seemed surprised to find a match in her counterpart. She observed better Margtrethe, her short hair, toned frame, casual dress, a quiet attitude similar to Henrik's. A strong woman, intelligent and sensitive.  
"My mother will stay for dinner. I'll go get Astrid from school soon."  
Saga turned to Margrethe.  
"Do you want to ask me something?"  
"No."  
"Good. I have to work for an hour, I'll use Astrid desk. Call me when dinner is ready."  
Saga disappeared behind the door.  
Henrik's eyes were so sad Margrethe wanted only to hug him like he was a little child.  
He had told her about Saga's peculiar behaviour but she never imagined such a detachment.  
"Is she always so? Also with Astrid?" Margrethe was concerned for her granddaughter's welfare.  
"No, they go well together, they talk a lot and Saga helps Astrid with homework. It's me. When someone else is around she avoids me, like I don't exist."  
"You and Saga sleep in the same bed, don't you?"  
"Yes. There are two bedrooms only."  
Not easy to talk about intimate topics with your own mother, Henrik thought, he didn't know what to say.  
"Don't be a prude, do you still make love?"  
"Sex, she calls it. Yes. It has always been the easiest part."  
"So she is not indifferent to you."  
He leaned heavily on the low wall. How could he explain Saga's attitude toward sex? Margrethe was quite of liberal view, considering her age, but Saga's behaviour was sometimes difficult also for him.  
"I need her mom, more than she needs me. I know it is impossible and foolish but after Alice she is the first I do want. And now it is all going wrong. She made up her mind in giving me the baby."  
"Should somebody speak with her?"  
"Who? She's alone, her relatives are dead, her former boss and friend too. She 's got only me and she won't listen to me. You saw how she cut me off before."  
"I could try."  
"She'll see you as a stranger."  
"I've managed a shop for 30 years and I've raised three kids, I think you can give me some credit in how to handle people."  
Henrik nodded, he knew how much Margrethe helped his cousins after her sister in law had died in a car accident, leaving young Mads and Alexandra scared, without a mother and with a father in hospital for a long and painful recovering. Henrik suspected her mother's desire to have another child – after the miscarriage she endured when Henrik was six – was partially compensated by acting as a foster mother.  
They had lived all together as a big family in the Sabroe large county house, until Henrik went to the academy and later married Alice.


End file.
